If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
zippers are such a cool invention
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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