why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
