I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
