Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
