I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
