Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
