People with herpes should wear stickers.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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