How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
