But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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