I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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