Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
