You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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