I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize