Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
