Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
