8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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