She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
