If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
