My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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