i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
MIDGETS
????
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
