And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
a search helicopter?!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
