i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
