I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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