if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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