so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize