You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Randomize
