I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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