it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize