What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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