i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
