NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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