I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
