please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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