apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
