ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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