Your face is a jimmy john
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
