dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
