I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
