"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
