I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
