Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
