dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
