I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
