the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
