I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
