im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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