I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
