my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
