True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
