He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i've created a new STD.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
