You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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