Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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