I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
