I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
