Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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