All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
