If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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