I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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