Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
