Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
