you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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