im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
