Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
